For many people, pleasing a woman can be a challenge.

And no matter how many human sexuality courses someone takes, the clitoris may still prove hard to find. But there might be light at the end of this mysterious tunnel.

This Valentine’s Day, you could look into the many sexual how-to courses that are offered throughout the Bay Area, featuring almost any topic of sexual interest - from kissing to bondage.
They are offered in a variety of places, with instructors from all walks of life. Anyone looking to explore a kink they find intriguing can get information in a safe, non-judgmental place, thanks to these programs.

Good Vibrations - the grand dame of Bay Area sex stores - features such evening classes through their “After Hours” program.

On a recent evening, two dozen people wandered around the store’s Valencia Street location in San Francisco, checking out dildos and tasting flavored tantric dust in anticipation of the evening’s workshop, “Give Her a Hand.”

The crowd, diverse in age, ethnicity and romantic entanglements - singles and couples are welcome at the class – sat in a circle, listening to instructor Rebecca H. give her lesson on the female hand job.
Rebecca asked her students to find a stranger in the class and tell them they decided to take the course. During the class, Rebecca helped everyone explore different sensations of touch, as well as incorporating vibrators into the fun.

She answered questions when they arose and shared her signature G-spot stimulation move to the class, “Cricket in the Dark.”

SF State student Roeul Custodio said he would be interested in this class if he knew about it.

“Guys don’t really know their way around (down there),” he said, adding that he would like to go with a girlfriend rather than with a group of friends.

“It would be good to go to the classes in case you’re doing something drastically wrong,” said SF State design major James O’Brien, 20.

But many students were more interested in the communication skills taught in these classes than in the physical techniques.

Kim Rudy, who is pursuing her master’s degree in social work, said she would be interested in the class to learn “to be able to talk about sex. Talk about what you need and want.”

Design major Brynmor John agrees that communication is the hardest part of relationships. “Dating is not a problem,” he said. “It’s keeping them (partners).”

For seven years, Charlie Glickman has been the After Hours coordinator for Good Vibrations, in charge of scheduling classes like “Give Her a Hand.”

The workshops are popular for their wide variety of topics, including classes based on student suggestions, as well as the diversity of attitudes and techniques for sex in each class, Glickman said. Each new schedule features eight to 10 new classes, he added, but popular classes, like “Lip Service,” will stay on the schedule longer if there is demand for them.

“‘Lip Service’ is a workshop on kissing technique,” Glickman said. “How many times have we been kissing someone and they’re just not a really good kisser? That it’s just too wet or whatever? It’s an amazingly fun workshop. You have to sign up as a couple.”

Glickman has seen couples that have been dating for three weeks to couples married for 25 years taking the course.

Another popular class teaches “male erotic massage.” Since there aren’t enough live models to go around, the instructor has a box of dildos so each person has something on which to practice the techniques.

Mistress Morgana, a professional dominatrix, teaches some of the courses for the After Hours program. She also does one-on-one sessions to build individual skills and confidence.
Morgana has been practicing sadomasochism professionally for 10 years, but has been playing since she was in college in the late ‘80s, she said

“The theme of all of my classes is that I focus on working with people who consider themselves primarily vanilla-identified but love a little kink on the side,” she added, explaining that, in the parlance of sex play, ‘vanilla’ is a broad term referring to any mainstream sexual practice.

“And kink, which I like to use more than BDSM, is a word that describes sort of everything else,” Morgana added, referring to bondage, dominance and sadomasochism. “And because I believe that most people are doing something else, I think most people are kinky.

“Most people enjoy something that is a bit more intense in bed, whether that is tickling or roughhousing or pinning each other down or kissing very hard or nibbling. These are all kinky acts in as much as they are all things that your minister wouldn’t say are part of the reproductive process.”

If there is a kink you are interested in, Morgana suggests exploring it for yourself before inviting a partner to join you. She explained that if you don’t work out your own concerns and questions about your kink, then you will pass on your own negativity and shame when you approach your partner about it. You can do this research through reading, movies and classes.

“Good Vibrations is a demonstration-only, clothes-on, very non-sexual space, actually,” she said. “It’s that way by design.

“It’s meant to be very comfortable for all the kinds of people who are going there, so you can sit down in a pretty well-lighted place with your clothes on, no one is going to touch you, and you’re not going to touch anyone else.

“But you get to watch me do a demonstration of what a good spanking looks like.”

When Morgana teaches a course, she encourages questions while in the group, but also stays after class to talk one-on-one with students.

However, if you’d like to add a little kink into your life around this Valentine’s Day, Morgana suggested making it more than a one-time thing.

“The best thing you can do to invest yourself in your kink for Valentine’s Day is to not make Valentine’s Day the only time you do it,” said Morgana. “Make it a kick-off date and then keep it going for yourself all year long. Often we use these romantic holidays as a reason to get kinky or to be especially intimate or to make that special effort with our partner, but that sort of special effort should be the kind of thing you do throughout the year - not just once a year.”

The After Hours calendar is available at http://www.goodvibes.com, or at any Good Vibrations retail location. Classes are $25 per person or $40-45 per couple. Reservations are recommended.