My father is a loving and caring man, but sadly he doesn’t understand the role of being a father.

He is not a bad person. But he tends to gamble, chase women, and bend the truth. He was raised in an uncivilized ranch in México. His father was killed when he was a toddler, so my father had no father figure.

Does that mean that everyone who doesn’t have a good father figure turns out bad?

Based on what I've had to go through, I know how to be a father, but I don’t know how to change society’s ideal of how a father is supposed to teach his son - like how to change a spare tire or build a bird house.

I've learned a lot on my own and I can safely say that due to the great mother I have, my strong faith in God, and the situations I have been through in life, I can make strong choices and not rebel and use my lack of a male role model as an excuse.

I have a friend who takes the opposite stance.

He is popular among youth in San Francisco because he tags buses and rooftops.

He attends a continuation school but rarely shows up for school -- even though he is one of the smartest people I know.

He does drugs and sells them at times, and also has a real job. His father is a heavy drinker.

He has a nice mother, but there's no male father figure to stop my friend from doing things that he does.

But as funny and confusing as the world is, the things that he does do - like tagging - help him gain acceptance.

People like this brag about being bad, because it helps them gain acceptance in society.

They want to be able to say they are tough so they can earn bragging points - much like rappers. Many rappers brag about drugs, money, sex and crime because it gives them the street credit and respect that many youth crave.

Just like hip-hop music today, there are many songs in Spanish that brag about womanizing, gambling and drinking.

My grandfather (on my mom's side) is a gambler and a drinker, but is respected by his peers and is known by my friends as “super cool” because he’s a drinker.

This is not cool to me.

It’s parents' jobs to raise their children in the right direction. Because of my mom, I have learned to turn disadvantages into advantages.

I don’t mean to brag, but I know what to do and what not to do in certain situations. Because of certain experiences I've had on my own, I've become street smart as well as book smart.

It is vital in life to be street smart and book smart because I can handle situations with drugs and gangs.

I know how to talk to older people on the corner or professionals in the office. I know how to pucker up to people when I need to and I know when I need to be blunt and aggressive with other people.

If it weren’t for my mother being a single parent and my family being Chicano, I wouldn’t be in half of the college preparatory programs that I am in today.

My sister just received a $10,000 scholarship to a prestigious San Francisco high school because she wrote a moving essay on her struggles and disadvantages.

But there is the cliché of “I want my kids to have the best life possible.”

If that were true, wouldn’t everyone want to be disadvantaged just so their child can be accepted to prestigious universities and programs and receive scholarships?

I want the best life for my children but if my life goes as planned, my child wouldn’t be eligible for certain programs and things of that nature because I plan on being successful. My child would probably be unappreciative and lazy because he never had to go through what I went through nor would he have to suffer like I have.

This could be a good thing, but wouldn’t help my child in life.