Males and females everywhere are trying to have platonic relationships with one another. Some will succeed — but sadly, the majority will not.

Blame the sexual tension that almost unavoidably exists between any heterosexual man and woman, or more simply, blame man’s inability to tame their lower regions.

For some reason, men almost always think that friendship with a girl will inevitably end in sex. And when sex becomes a part of the supposedly platonic equation, everything turns to — well, let’s just say it ain’t pretty.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that females are overly capable at platonic relationships; I just haven’t witnessed enough proof to assert otherwise.

Throughout my life I have observed the pitiful, short-lived and transient stages of friendship from the opposite sex.

My male buddy may start off assuming the role of a “friend”; he lends me his shoulder to cry on and offers to take me shopping, you know, as best pals. Although these sweet gestures speak friendship on the surface, they wreak something else internally.

In reality, my so-called “friend” only wants his charming efforts noticed, and are most likely an ingredient of a larger plan of attack: a recipe for disaster.

And the strategies get better every time — they reinvent themselves, taking on ballsy new approaches, revamping the old, but never throwing in the towel — which has caused me to endure a plethora of painful events and awkward moments.

In such instances I’ve had to hone my “inner man,” becoming as distant and apathetic as possible, which means scrutinizing everything I say, how I act, and when I laugh, because if I laugh too much, who knows, a chemical imbalance might occur that makes him think: sex.

This also means absolutely no hugging, unless it’s a personal tragedy or some blessed event. Otherwise, a guy can’t seem to shake the fact that my chest is pressed against him.

And definitely no seat sharing, because if you have to squeeze next to a guy or even sit on his lap in a car, he probably thinks you want something more, and unfortunately, that might not be the seat belt that’s poking you.

OK, I can’t say that each and every friendship between males and females will inevitably fail. What I can say is that it will most likely fail. The malfunctions start to occur, when the male finds the woman in any way attractive.

And according to most male sources, he will only be your friend if he finds you attractive in the first place. In the words of my brother, “There always has to be incentive!”

I hardly ever see an attractive guy with an unattractive girl, no matter what their supposed association is. There’s an explanation for this.

Since the beginning of time, women were treated as objects by men and shown off to society, almost as a prize or sign of wealth. On the other hand, females weighed emotional and financial support more heavily when choosing a partner. Although this may not be the case in modern society, our roles are almost innate.

Men are genetically built to make relationships based on physical appearance, whereas women are prone to those who can support them, making her less dependent on physical attraction.

It takes an extremely disciplined man to pretend that he is not sexually attracted to a woman whom he’s close to, which is probably why there so few guys genuinely trying to build friendships with the opposite sex.

In any case, what I’ve undeniably confirmed is that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. And if friendships between men and women are at all possible, they are difficult, and might only be manageable if ground rules are set out from day one.

Even so, it’s up to us women to help avoid confusion and maintain the innocence of the relationship; because men will most likely forget any rules the minute cleavage enters the room.