When Christina Bolaris was growing up she dreamed of being the CEO of an international corporation.

She never thought she would get married.

Her senior year has been busy. Bolaris is graduating with a bachelor’s degree in international business with an emphasis in finance. Bolaris has been balancing taking a full load of classes, applying for law school, and participating in activities for her business fraternity Delta Sigma Pi.

And, contrary to what she had intended, she is planning her wedding, which will take place two weeks after her graduation.

Bolaris is one of the many young American women, who are saying “I do,” or at least “I will,” before they have graduated college.

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the current average age that American women are getting married is 27. 75 percent of women are married in the United States by the age of 30, and the national divorce rate is close to 50 percent. However, the risk of divorce goes down 24 percent for those who marry after the age of 25.

Clinical psychologist Lisa Stiller said she objects to marriages before age 25.

“I think it’s a really bad idea,” she said. “Your brain is still developing in your 20’s and it is difficult for you to see the long-term ramifications of marriage.”

Bolaris’ day starts at 5:30 a.m. She wakes up at her parents' home in Morgan Hill, where she moved temporarily to save money for her wedding. She drives to her gym for a 30-minute workout. Then, unlike most college students and she showers and gets ready for school at the house her fiancé, Nick, bought for her last year in San Jose.

“Sometimes I don’t see Nick for two (or) three weeks,” said Bolaris. “He travels for work and I am consumed with school work.”
Bolaris met her fiancé, 32-year-old Nick Kokologiannakis, at a wedding three years ago. After the first few dates Bolaris and
Kokologiannakis fell in love with each other, she said.

“Every time I hugged him it felt like we had been together for a lifetime,” said Bolaris. “I told him if we got married it would have to be after I finished school.”

Bolaris' top priority is her schoolwork, and her fiancé is very supportive and considerate when it comes down to her buckling down and studying, she said.

“He will drive down to my parents' house for dinner to see me when I am studying on a Friday night,” said Bolaris. “Being engaged and a college student has taught me how to manage my time.”

Kokologiannakis unexpectedly proposed to Bolaris last December. Over dinner he tricked Bolaris into asking for the dessert tray. Instead of dessert the waitress brought her a lavish tray of seashells with the engagement ring resting on a prong inside of a clam.

She accepted the proposal, and since then the couple has been diligently planning for their wedding celebration in June. During her breaks between classes Bolaris devotes time to studying and wedding planning.

“We didn’t hire a wedding consultant, (and) we are working on a tight budget for a 300-person wedding,” said Bolaris. “It takes a lot of time to shop around and find the best deals on invitations, photographers, and dresses.”

Budgeting and number crunching come naturally to the business-minded Bolaris and her fiancé, who works as director of information technology for a company in San Jose. She has used the negotiating skills she has learned from her business classes at SF State to bargain shop for her wedding.

“The original price of my wedding dress was $1200, and I only paid $600,” said Bolaris. “We are using our resources to stay within our budget and still have an elegant wedding.”

It is possible to host a memorable wedding on a student budget. Heather Bernstein of Heather Kendall Events has planned weddings for students.

When working with clients on a tight budget, Bernstein asks her clients to choose what aspect of the wedding they want people to remember. Then she focuses most of the spending and planning on that aspect.

“Flowers can be the most costly part of the wedding," said Bernstein. "I suggest using candles, or potted plants as an alternative.I have had younger clients who hire a DJ for the first two hours of the reception, then have karaoke for the rest of the party. I’ve even heard of people using an iPod instead of a DJ.”

Bernstein has observed the major difference between the planning of younger and older brides-to-be is their level of naïveté.

“Young brides don’t know what they want," said Bernstein. "Older brides know because they typically have attended more weddings and have a vision of what they want.”

Bernstein also suggests hosting the reception on the beach, a state park, a friend’s backyard or a community center if you are on a tight budget.

For 27-year-old SF State philosophy graduate student Michelle Lacroix, managing plans for her wedding this summer, schoolwork, and mentally preparing herself for life as a married woman has become a full-time job.

“It has been insane,” said Lacroix. “I have to remind myself to stay in the moment or else I will go nuts.”

Lacroix said she looks forward to her wedding day, taking her bridesmaids out to dinner before the event, and receiving her first facial so her skin is glowing on her big day.

However, her excitement is also clouded with worries and anxiety over this life-changing event. She struggles with feeling at ease with her parents paying for the wedding, worries about being a good student and a wife, and is grappling with the fact that many of her friendships will change now that she is a married woman.

“I am constantly feeling like I am taking from my parents," said Lacroix. “I am worried about being disciplined with my schoolwork when I am married.”

In between study groups at SF State, Lacroix has managed to pencil in appointments with florists and pick out wedding invitations. She said she feels that going to school full time is a major drawback when trying to plan a wedding.

“My friends who are getting married and work nine-to-five in an office have so much more time than I do," said Lacroix. "They are sitting by their computer all day so they can surf the Internet and research different florists and go to wedding chat rooms. I don’t have the time to think about what flower arrangements I want for three days. I have to go with my gut.”

Lacroix said she plans to change her last name to her husband’s last name when she marries him. Lacroix said she believes that marriage should be a big change in her life, which is why she has abstained from living with Okamoto until they get married.

Six years ago, Amber Clark never thought that when she started working as a waitress at Lori’s Diner she would meet her future husband Killian Clark, who worked as the cashier.

“It felt like the natural next step,” said Amber. “We were best friends, started dating seriously, and then I just got (a) feeling like a premonition that we were going to get married.”

They got married four years ago, and 30-year-old Killian now works as a carpenter while Amber goes to SF State full time, studying to get a bachelor’s degree in Russian studies. Amber, 25, said that she is the only one out of her group of friends that is married.

“It is hard for some of my single friends to understand that I can’t be a crazy college student and party all night,” she said. “I have a husband at home waiting for me. I can’t act like a single girl.”

Life for a married college woman is drastically different than that of a single woman, she added.

“I share my life with my husband," said Clark. "I really get stuck in a balancing act. I have to balance being a wife and being a 25-year-old young woman.”

Statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau reveal that divorce is most common in the first two years of marriage. Dr. Stiller said she thinks younger husbands and wives have the highest divorce rate because during their 20s, young people are still figuring themselves out.

“By getting married when you are older you have a better perspective on who you are and what you want in a healthy relationship,” said Stiller. “When two people are in a marriage during a time in their life when they are still maturing and figuring out who they are, it is rare that the two people will change and develop in the same direction.”