Nina Hartley looks like an average woman in her 40s. Wearing black jeans, boots, a gray turtleneck, and thick black-framed glasses, the blond author could be your mom – if your mom starred in, produced and directed more than 600 adult films in 21 years as a pornographer.

The SF State alumna came to campus Nov. 17 to talk about her new book, “Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex,” and to answer questions from an audience of 30 students.

Hartley was candid about all topics. After introducing herself to the crowd and explaining her background as a nursing school graduate and as a sex worker, she encouraged the audience to ask questions.

“I’m a nurse, so you can’t gross me out, and I fuck for a living so you can’t embarrass me,” she said to a laughing audience.

Hartley described herself as a polyamorous bisexual, though she has been married to a man for seven years. As she emphasized in her talk, she is bisexual because she likes both men and women, and she fell in love with a man who shares her desire for more than just one sexual partner.

“I knew early on there were labels to describe who I am,” she said. “It’s really important to understand who we are.”

Take for example, her polyamorous lifestyle versus monogamy.

“I’ve never had a monogamous thought in my life,” Hartley said. “I know about it, but I don’t know it. It’s not me.”

Her sexual orientation, combined with an exhibitionist personality, led her to adult entertainment. She began working as a stripper during her sophomore year in college and started doing films when she was a junior. After graduating summa cum laude with a bachelor’s degree in nursing, Hartley went into pornography full time.

Her book is the latest in her career as a sex educator. Hartley has a series of “Guide to…” films that cover the sexual spectrum from intercourse to bondage.

“Sex is very powerful,” she told the audience. “It is potent. It is magical. It is seeing God.”

During her talk Hartley encouraged people to learn their sexuality – what they like and don’t like, what they fantasize about, and what gives them pleasure – so that when they want to have sex they know what their boundaries are.

"Make the rules you’re comfortable with and then play by them,” she said.

During the second half of the two-hour lecture, Hartley opened up to questions from the audience about her opinion of pornography and how some pornography is violent toward women. She said people should remember that the women in those videos gave consent and that some do enjoy the treatment.

But, she said, pornography is often a mirror on society. So if there is violence toward women in porn, she asked the class, what does that say about the greater culture?

“It’s very upsetting to see hostility in porn. It shows confusion over our attitude about sex,” she said. “We amputate men from their feelings and we amputate women from their clits. And we wonder why there’s no understanding?”

According to students in the audience, Hartley’s talk was informative and thought provoking.

Regina Santa Maria, 29, a psychology major, agreed. She saw the posters in the hallway and went spur of the moment.

“It was really informative,” she said. “I’m glad I came.”

Another audience member, Lori Lewis, came with her daughter Megan Moss, a 21-year-old psychology major.

“It was awesome,” said Moss who eagerly waited for an autograph from Hartley.

“I thought it was great,” said Lewis, 49. “I liked the idea about the book dealing with the different sections, the physical and the emotional.”

“It’s great to have so many people open to it,” Lewis said.

David Lowe, 25, a senior kinesiology major, said he learned to be proud of his sexuality.

“Be proud of your sex,” he said. “Be proud of what you believe in and practice it.”