SPECIAL SERIES : The Underground Issue
And They Lived Happily Ever After
Global Organziations Crack Down on Garden Gnome Oppression
 

Last time you saw your garden gnome, he was happily greeting visitors at your front door. Little do you know, behind that porcelain smile is a tortured mythical spirit, aching to once again roam free in his native woodland. It’s okay. There was no way to know you purchased your jolly little fellow from a slave trader, and then subsequently imprisoned him in the shackles of your front yard.

Luckily for garden gnomes everywhere, organizations across the globe are dedicated to the liberation of such poor creatures. Advocating to “end oppressive gardening,” such groups as Free the Gnomes and the Garden Gnome Liberation Front, vow to rescue garden gnomes from captivity and give them freedom, even if that means trespassing on your property.

Yes, the belief is that gnomes are just like you and me: They have a right to freedom. And forcing them to serve as ornamentation for your sick pleasure is, according to these organizations, an immoral, abominable act. To remedy the exploitation of garden gnomes, “liberators” are forced to violate trespassing and property laws. “We wish that garden gnome slavery did not exist,” says the Free the Gnomes organization. “But we understand why some would support all means necessary to stop it.” The use of such illegal methods requires these movements to remain largely underground.

And where do those once adorable garden accessories go once they taste freedom? Back home to the forest, of course! The Garden Gnome Liberation Front in France leaves a claim ticket on the little statues, while the Italian chapter smashes them, permitting their spirits to fly away and truly be free. Other gnomes are retired to the European Gnome Sanctuary in Barga, Italy where, together, they can live peacefully and recover from their former oppressive lives.

A few gnomes have been known to go on trips around the world, all-expenses paid, by their liberators. Popularized by the 2001 French film “Amélie” and the Travelocity marketing campaign “Where is my Gnome?” the traveling gnome prank sends these festive little fellas to tourist attractions all around the world, where their photograph is taken and then sent to their former captor.

“Too long have these wonderful people suffered under the cruel mistreatment of humans,” says the Gnome Liberation Front. “This discrimination must stop, and it is up to each and every one of us to see that it does.”

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