In the dimly lit room thousands of bodies are swaying to the music, with their eyes closed and hands in the air, praising Him for His unconditional love. After the worship, one by one students make their way to the front of the room where they sign their name on a card. By signing this card a pledge has been made to remain abstinent until marriage. Friends and youth leaders smile and hug each other, excited and proud of the commitment they’ve just made. But when the lights go up as the music fades away and the emotions cease, the reality of abstinence sets in, and the pact to remain sexually pure is often brushed to the side.

Virginity pledges have become a popular trend among the young Christian community. Programs like True Love Waits and The Silver Ring Thing, as well as church youth groups across the country, are taking part in these events where young people gather in large groups and sign their names to a card pledging to remain virgins until marriage. While the idea of abstaining before marriage seems like the wholesome and noble thing to do, studies show that many people who have taken formal virginity pledges are actually just as likely to contract an STD, as well as experiment with alternative forms of sex, such as anal and oral sex. That being said, it is no wonder that even religious people find these mass pledges pointless and ineffective.

Abstinence before marriage can be a struggle even for young people with high moral religious standards. Lauren Hollingsworth is a 21-year-old junior at UCSD who has chosen to remain abstinent until marriage. With her long, brown, wavy hair, big green eyes and an inviting smile, Hollingsworth could be the poster child of the good Christian woman. Although she is not currently in a relationship, she has dated in the past. In her own opinion, Hollingsworth has set her sexual boundaries a lot higher than most and acknowledges the temptations and difficulty in choosing to remain abstinent.

“I’ve never taken a formal virginity pledge and I don’t think I ever would. But I’m definitely going to abstain from sex until I’m married,” Hollingsworth says. “Of course I’ve wanted to be intimate, and it’s a struggle sometimes. But I know that God died for me, and how can I let that go just for a boy.”

Hollingsworth’s moral conviction toward pre-marital sex is exactly the driving force behind the fundamentalist Christian church’s motivation to preach abstinence. The church teaches abstinence as a moral decision, not as a form of safe sex practice.

Phil Busbee is the senior pastor at First Baptist Church in San Francisco. With his gentle, welcoming voice and graying hair, he is the typical caring father figure. Busbee believes young people should practice abstinence for moral reasons, as opposed to practical reasons, such as safe sex.

“With abstinence as a safe-sex practice, you can always reason yourself out of it, either by using condoms or taking birth control,” says Busbee. “But choosing to abstain for moral conviction is a much more powerful personal argument than a practical suggestion.”

Busbee also feels that by teaching abstinence as a form of safe sex practice, the church is saying it’s okay to have sex if its done safely, which contradicts their morals completely.

Busbee disagrees with the idea of virginity pledges, finding them ultimately ineffective. He believes the group atmosphere in large conferences, camps or retreats, where these pledges typically take place, is not conducive to the type of long-term emotional support a young person needs in order to stay true to the pledge. These big group virginity pledges romanticize the idea of abstinence, making it seem easy and fun, when in actuality it is a commitment that requires not only the emotional support of others, but also strength from the individual.

“We encourage parents and their child to go away together on a retreat and talk about it one on one,” says Busbee. “It’s not to be done in a big youth group where there is a lot of emotional and peer pressure. But rather in terms of a relationship where there is emotional support. I wouldn’t be surprised if [virginity pledges] didn’t work. A commitment like that requires a pattern and relationships.”

Sister Monica Cardona with the Newman Club, a Catholic campus ministry at San Francisco State University, agrees with Busbee.

“Although I agree that abstinence before marriage is the healthiest and best moral choice, I do not agree that a group pledge is an effective context,” says Cardona. “As a Catholic, I wholeheartedly believe in the importance of abstinence and virginity, myself having taken a vow of chastity. However, deep down this is a personal choice before oneself and God, and a true moral choice requires freedom, something which is absent in the context of group pressure.”

Besides the lack of one-on-one support needed to help sustain a virginity pledge, the nature of the human body at the age of a young adult or teenager makes it difficult to abstain as well. These pledges are being taken at a time when sexual curiosity and sexuality are at their peaks.

“The body is at a time when it wants to explore, which is completely natural. The impact of hormones on our emotional balance is enormous at that age,” says Kathleen Gurdine, a marriage and family therapist.

According to Stephen Russell, Ph.d., an associate professor in the Department of Family Studies and Human Development at the University of Arizona, abstinence before marriage is more rare in today’s society, not only because of the nature of human beings, but also because of the culture of the society we live in.

“Some would say it’s just fundamental to desire sex, whereas others think that there is a cultural influence when it comes to sexual desire. But I think most researchers would agree that it’s probably a combination of the two,” Russell says. “The natural genetic human predisposition toward sexual desire is shaped by the society that we live in. Waiting until marriage is an example of a changing cultural norm.”

The norm in American culture today is not waiting until marriage to have sex. Sex is advertised every day in this society: from Janet Jackson’s boob, Lindsay Lohan posing half naked in a magazine, to the ads for this season’s “Desperate Housewives.” Sex is everywhere in American media, and in the majority of American bedrooms. In this society, abstaining until marriage is becoming more and more a practice of the past.

Christina Cervenka is bubbly. She has short blond hair, a big smile and cheery personality. The 21-year-old student at College of the Canyons in Santa Clarita, California, says that the reality of abstinence is why she has come to terms with having had premarital sex, despite her Christian background. Having grown up going to church and youth groups her whole life, Cervenka always thought she would wait to have sex until she was married.

“Once I got older and was in college, society and reality started to sink in a little more. When I was in high school, abstinence seemed doable because I was much more sheltered,” says Cervenka. “But as I’ve gotten older, the ‘real world’ has made me grow in my understanding about the world I live in, as well as in my beliefs. I can now say I can have sex, while at the same time maintaining a good and solid relationship with God.”