When the sperm penetrated the egg, the urine test turned positive and buying a crib became a necessity. I thought my feet were goners—doomed to be doomed to be swollen and elevated over my head for days. Not the case, they were fine and dandy, I wish I could have said that about my fresh, juicy vagina. Was I doomed to succumb to this, was this the beginning of the end of my sex life?
A pregnant woman doesn’t exactly conjure up images of wild frenzied sexual abandon. One is more likely to visualize the pregnant woman abstaining out of fear or disinterest. But thankfully pregnant sex isn’t an infrequent occurrence. In fact it can actually be the best sex you’ll have in your life. And although you may encounter some obstacles along the way, you may never be hornier than when you’re pregnant.
“Ninety percent of my pregnancy consisted of orgasmic dreams,” says Lori Butler, 34, who recently delivered twin girls. “I woke up wet almost every morning, I had dirty, dreams where I had sex with men, women, objects, pretty much anything and everything – it was absolutely wonderful.”
The first thing about pregnant sex (after grabbing a good lube to take care of the dryness issue) was that even though the hormonal changes of early pregnancy depleted my body’s moisture, my blood made up for it by pumping full speed ahead into all the arousing places.
You just haven’t had sex until you do it with an engorged, ultra sensitive vulva. It’s fantastic, and ladies, this only happens to your body when you’re pregnant.
Even after the orgasm, there’s a long lasting sense of reverberation, a continued, almost painful tingle that may drive some mad, others insane with pleasure.
“I wanted it all the time, way more often than usual, because it was just way better,” says Rhyann Cheung, 34, who had her first baby in July. She smiles wistfully as she recalls how often her and her husband Gehan, had sex when she was pregnant. “I was definitely turned on a lot more often than usual,” she adds.
And engorged genitals aren’t just fun for the pregnant woman, but the men will be lovin’ it too – when a woman’s genitalia are primed like this, men get a pleasantly snugger fit during penetration than pre-pregnacy.
“My wife being pregnant was a major aphrodisiac,” says Butler’s husband, Matt Butler, 35. “Because the body is changing you are more inventive with positions than usual and that’s pretty fun.”
I say enjoy it while you can. These magic pregnancy hormones don’t last forever and after the arrival of the baby sex usually becomes an entirely different story.
I’m not saying that pregnant sex is the same for everyone. We all vary in our sexual appetites and responses. What is true for some may not be the case for everyone, but according to What to Expect When You’re Expecting, by Eisenberg, Murkoff, and Hathaway, most women do report an increase in their sex drive when pregnant, particularly during their second trimester. These same women do start to lose their interest closer to the end of the pregnancy when their minds become preoccupied with the their overly-large bodies and impending arrival of the baby.
Making love during pregnancy was different than any other time in my life. It discredited the myth that having sex while pregnant is taboo to do. It helped ease my personal fears I had about doing it when pregnant, while at the same time paving the way for a type of sexual gratification that can only happen under these special circumstances.
One thing that makes sex so good when you’re pregnant is that you’re totally free, after all you don’t have to worry about getting knocked up. For me this was liberating like nothing else. When you’re pregnant already, the unconscious stress that lives in you is freed and you can be crazy like you’ve never been before.
“When you’re pregnant, you’re having the most fun sex of all because you’re not doing it to get pregnant or anything. It’s selfish sex and it’s hot,” says Lisa Jackson, 31, a mom who is currently pregnant with her second child. “You just don’t have to worry about anything,” she says with a matter of fact tone.
So combine raging hormones, a plumped up labia and wanton sexual inhibition and you’ve got a great recipe for sex. If that’s not enough there’s always the perineum massage. I heard about this in one of my childbirth classes and I had to ask our childbirth instructor to repeat herself, as the information was so enthralling.
“Listen up ladies,” she shouted. “One of the best perks of pregnancy is the perineum massage - you should have your partner do this for you at least a few times a week to help lessen the risk of ripping during childbirth.”
This region, called the perineum, lies between the vagina and the rectum and is an area of great concern amongst most pregnant women, mainly because this is the part of the body we’re asking a lot of during childbirth. When I was pregnant I stressed out a lot over this area because I really didn’t like the idea of my perineum ripping apart.
Massage is the number one method suggested to avoid the ripping or slicing of this oh so sensitive area of flesh. A woman could always try doing it herself, but it’s much more fun if she has her partner take care of it. The massage should incorporate liberal amounts of lube or lotion and last at least 30 minutes, focusing on the perineum and the surrounding area, rubbing in a clockwise motion.
The goal is to loosen up the muscle, allowing it to stretch during childbirth and ensure a smooth delivery. Even if the method doesn’t pull through and you end up ripping (as many do), at least a lot of fun throughout the pregnancy was had by all.
So sex isn’t something you should avoid while pregnant. It shouldn’t be scary and it isn’t abnormal. So if you like sex and at some point think you may want to have a family, hopefully you’ll recall these words of experience when the urine test turns positive.