Every day, in between classes, I pull out my brown, plastic packet labeled “American Harvest” and pull out a cigarette. I flick my Bic, lift it to the tobacco, and suck in. As I exhale, I reflexively look up; usually spotting the “Working Together Towards a Smoke-Free Campus” sign that is on nearly every light pole on campus. Thinking how absurd that is and how uptight the whole idea is, I can’t help but smirk.

Smoking is such a deliciously simple vice that seems to just get better with every opinionated and oh-not-so-subtle forced cough. Smoking is the first signifier of someone standing outside the pack (no pun intended) and has been since we were all in high school. I got a wicked kick out of it then, and I get a similar kick now.

California and many other states don’t see the irony in making smoking an outlaw activity - the delight of breaking a taboo keeps it appealing. And now the campus is doing it, too, with little enforcement and a lackluster message that attempts to uber-PC-ify SF State campus to state standards.

In a town and culture where we pride ourselves on being out of step with the rest of the toe-tapping, finger-shaking, “Mother, may I?” culture, we’ve accepted the “SMOKING IS AN ACT OF THE DAMNED” mantra, without stopping to even think about the consequences. We’re losing our individuality through this uptight moral grandstanding. We easily forget how good people look when they smoke. Think of James Dean chewing on a pencil instead of a ciggy hanging from his mouth. Think of dive bars in the days of yore full of thick gray smoke that had such a mystery to them. Think of harems with beautiful women lying taking a relaxing drag on a long-stemmed cigarette. Think of intrigue and mystery and style and attitude and all the things that you want to be in your pretend world.

And then there’s always the cancer card that people play in defense of their totalitarian efforts against fun. People get all sorts of cancer all of time and all throughout time. Humans have smoked for centuries and humans have had cancer for centuries. The human body will eventually give way and it will probably pick a cancer for you. With smoking, at least you’ve got the choice. Seriously, people are up in arms about cutting a life 20 years short that has usually been extended by 20 years through science. Have fun with the amount of time we’re actually supposed to have anyways.

With all the messages sent to you every day about how to live your life far away from the edge (“Don’t drink, don’t smoke, what do ya do?”) here’s a little list of reasons why smoking is the greatest drug since huffing tar fumes in a cave.

- There’s no better way to be like your pop culture icons than by imitation, right? Think James Dean, Brigitte Bardot, Marianne Faithfull, Lou Reed, Ian Curtis

- It looks good. And cool. And sexy.
- What else are you going to do after sex?
- It’s a great conversation starter/reason to approach someone.
- Your hands always have something to do, rather than fidgeting with that pen or bar napkin as you try to talk to whoever you are after for the night.
- Not only is a great way to start a conversation, you can always use it as an excuse to leave one as well.
- You always have something to do on your work breaks.
- Squeezing a ball when you are stressed looks silly; smoking when you are stressed looks sexy – still.
- Nothing really goes better with coffee.
- Nothing really looks better with a cocktail glass.
- Did I mention that it’s sexy?