Roy Pau has seen the benefits of Tantra for women first hand. An old girlfriend of his was raped the night of her high school prom. When they met ten years later, she decided to try to become intimate with a man.

Pau says they started Tantra on their own because he had previous experience with it. To get her comfortable with sex, they first tried breathing exercises. Then they attended some workshops together, which elaborated on what they already learned. Although, according to Pau, she still had repressed feelings about sex, Tantra helped her to become more comfortable with her sexuality.

“It really brings about the repressive, emotional hurtful sexual feelings in a woman,” says Pau. “And makes her not to be afraid of sex.”

Tantra is most popular with heterosexual women, most of whom are married, but most American women have the idea that Tantra is all about sex. They are mistaken. Tantra is about more than that. It’s about communication, trust and respect. It can involve nudity or participants can be fully clothed. Tantra can also help women who have experienced traumatic events, like abuse and rape and sometimes have difficulty having consensual sex.

“It has more of a deeper connection with the body, emanating from the mind itself,” says Pau, “At some point there is intercourse or it could happen but it is not the object.”

Some abused and raped woman experience Repressed Memory Syndrome, which means the victims have no or little memory of the trauma. A trauma survivor can also have flashbacks of the rape, which can make sexual intercourse painful.

Tantric sex can be used to ease an abused woman’s transition to having a healthier sex life by first taking away the shame women have about sex. The transition according to Jan Morrison, -- who has been teaching Tantra for years, can be uncomfortable.

“It gets you in touch with deepest self,” says Morrison, “Some parts are dark and comfortable.”

Tantric beliefs say an erotic act of love between a man and a woman, also called a god and goddess, created the world.

The original Tantric rituals were religious, but since the 1960s Tantric sex became more spiritual as it spread to western cultures. The spiritual practice involves breathing exercises and meditation to achieve a longer, more intense orgasm than achieved from intercourse.

American Tantra is a combination of psychotherapy and Reichian or Orgonomic therapy. Developed by Wilhelm Reichian, it teaches relationship building through verbal communication and releases tension through deep massage which helps people experience more joy in their life by changing defensive tactics.

Unlike traditional intercourse, the ultimate purpose of Tantric sex is not reaching a climax. Instead the male learns to control and delay his orgasm and to focus his attention towards the female.

“Women can use Tantra to learn how to weave experiences of the everyday life to the divine,” says Mead Rose. “Sex is only one-seventh of it.”

Rose first heard about Tantra from reading a book he found on a friend’s coffee table over 25 years ago. Although that was his first time hearing about Tantra, it wasn’t until seven years ago he started teaching people.

Rose studied at the Ipsulu School in San Jose and then the Source School in Santa Cruz. The Ipsulu School taught what is referred to as White Tantra, which focuses on the breathing aspect of Tantra. The main focus at the Source School was on the massage therapy portion or Red Tantra.

Although Rose says Tantra teaches men to pay close attention to woman, he recommends women to attend the first class by themselves. He also says the class they take doesn’t have to be specifically labeled Tantra. A beginning yoga class teaches the same breathing exercises as Tantra.

“I also suggest women screening potential instructors before they go,” says Rose, He suggests using phone interviews or taking a workshop. “It gets sketchy when you go to individuals,” he says.
Rose dutifully watches the patrons during a co-ed Tantra workshop. He is ready to resolve any conflicts that might arise most often are initiated by men who attend to look for a mate.

Despite his self -described “bouncer build,” women have told him they feel safe and beautiful in his presence. He credits this to what he has learned from Tantra.
“Tantra taught me to pay close attention to women,” says Rose. “They are very complex.”