On any given day in San Francisco, out-of-towners and natives alike can be seen en masse, amusing themselves by paying ridiculous prices to ride cable cars or going shopping at stores like Old Navy that are easily found within a five minute drive of Anywhere, USA. The rickety sound of a cable car being pulled uphill is the last thing one hears as Tom Smith leads a small group through the posh Nob Hill district. Smith speaks jovially to the group as he flips through a green 3-ring binder that proudly yells “FOOT!” on its cover. Sunlight gleams off his rounded eyeglasses, and he removes his herringbone cap to wipe sweat off his brow before flipping to the right page.

“Now let’s meet some of the people responsible for this neighborhood,” Smith says to a small group circled around him. He holds out the folder to reveal a page of an old photo titled “Nouveau Riche Kids on the Block.” It bears the image of an extravagant mansion, owned by one Charles Crocker.

“He was the bully boy of the bunch,” says Smith, before detailing the history of Crocker’s infamous Spite Fence. The curious group listens to a story of how the overbearing megalomaniac built a 40-foot-high brick wall around a German undertaker’s house, a response to the refusal to sell his property to Crocker. Meanwhile, other tourists are assuredly buying Alcatraz key chains.

Smith, 37, is a local comedian and guide for FOOT! Walking Tours, which offer alternative means of sightseeing that differ considerably from the standard tourist fare. Whether it’s a tour elaborating on how corruption made Nob Hill what it is today, or a 2-hour jaunt through North Beach visiting areas once prevalent with strippers and beat poets, FOOT! takes the willing on ten unique tours around the city, each concerning the lesser-known, and often lurid, culture and history of San Francisco. The company also pairs tourists with professional comedians as their guides, making it hard to keep tongues in cheeks while laughing. Beware– this is not your average sightseeing.

“You won’t believe how many 12-year-old Mormons have signed up for the “Drugs, Thugs, Crimps, and Pimps” tour,” says Smith.

Sure, FOOT! also offers tours that are normal by San Francisco standards, such as a walk through Chinatown or a recounting of the California Gold Rush. But what separates FOOT! from other sightseeing companies are their themed tours, most of which deal with the alternative cultures and history that have been synonymous with the city for over a century. A more mainstream company would describe the Castro district as a “fun” neighborhood filled with “nice and friendly” people. FOOT! spares obtuse euphemisms with their Come Out to the Castro tour, which deals directly with gay culture, such as highlighting the neighborhood’s first gay bar, as well as gay history, which surprisingly reaches as far back as the Gold Rush era.

North Beach, yet another misunderstood neighborhood, whose seedy past can be easily disregarded by those who are simply focusing on its Italian eateries. Instead, FOOT! revels in the debauchery.

“Who doesn’t like strippers, right?” says guide David Spark.

Spark, a 39-year-old former comedian and current tech journalist, leads the “Nude, Lewd, and Crude” tour, which emphasizes the neighborhood’s past– rife with beatniks, socio-political comedians, and topless dancers– over where to find the best pasta plate. Perhaps because its amazing history might be much more aesthetically pleasing than a spicy meat ball. The neighborhood was once home to many influential and creative minds in the 50s and 60s, many of whom went on to lead major cultural shifts in literature and comedy, notably such masters of their craft as Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, Mort Sahl and Lenny Bruce. Sex also exploded into the foray, becoming prevalent in books, comedy routines and also the community when the first topless club erected on foundation and in pants in 1964.

“From 1950 to about 1975, North Beach was the epicenter of pop culture for the entire country,” says Spark. “Obviously, it’s not like that today.”

On his evening walk through North Beach, Spark even boasts a stop on the tour pointing out the location of the former night club where seminal comedian Lenny Bruce’s career took off, earning him a record contract as well as gaining the support of Hugh Hefner, to where Bruce’s career literally took a fall from the window of the Swiss American Hotel- all seen from a single block. But why should Lenny Bruce be more important than a clam chowder bread bowl at Fisherman’s Wharf?

“There was a notion prior to the 50s that comedians were penguins– they were all so comical, goofy and silly. Lenny Bruce was one of the first to identify comedy with a persona,” says Spark. He later adds, “Fisherman’s Wharf is the worst part of the city.”

It’s no surprise that comedy is a focal point of all of FOOT!’s tours. Founder Robert Mac is a working comedian, as are the majority of the company’s roster of guides. Mac, 39, came up with the idea several years ago, while doing extensive research on San Francisco’s history to produce educational videos of neighborhoods for a local youth hospital. The city’s history then became part of his act, asking pop quiz questions to the audience. A friend was so impressed that they asked Mac for a tour of the city. Mac then devised a walking tour in the format of a history game show, asking the participants questions at each stop. It turned out to be a big hit, and Mac began doing tours full-time in 2000, with the intent to deliver history with an entertaining and interactive approach. Some of their current tours include game show categories such as “Drugs or Coffee?” or “Lenny or Carrot Top?” as contestants decide whether certain quotes are from either comedian, in that many believe that modern comedy began with Lenny Bruce and met its end with Carrot Top.

The decision to branch out into the tourism industry proved beneficial for both FOOT! and his comedy career.

“They work in tandem. I can try my new material on the tours and get immediate feedback. Afterwards, I’ll polish it on stage,” says Mac.
After all, combining the two is a perfect fit. Both require performing to an audience, literally thinking on one’s feet, and enthusiasm- that is, unless they hire Steven Wright. The tour members benefit by getting good laughs alongside history lessons, all the while finding choice photo ops.

“It’s more fun than two barrels of monkeys,” says David Spark. “Only not nearly as violent.”