Sticky rice. Most people associate that phrase with Chinese food. However, within the gay community this phrase has an entirely different connotation. Walking down Castro Street on any given day, one would think that all is well within the gay population; that there is a sense of unity. However, to the trained eye it becomes apparent that this seemingly unified group is actually torn at the seams.

“There is so much criticism within the gay community,” says Tiffany Iseman. “We are more critical of each other than outsiders are of us, especially when it comes to Asian male couples.”

Iseman explains that there are different levels of stereotypes and racism within the gay community, specifically toward Asian couples and gay Asian men.

“Asian couples are called sticky rice, which isn’t as degrading as rice queens, which are Asian drag queens or transgender Asian men,” says Iseman. “Then there are slang phrases for gay men who go after Asian men. But the most widely criticized group within the gay community is Asian men who don’t speak English very well.”

Iseman says that gay Asian men who don’t speak fluent English are highly criticized because there is such a cultural barrier between the races.

“Oh my god, not another rice queen,” says Iseman’s friends at a drag show. “If I have to watch one more rice queen walk down that runway I’m going to leave.”

A major problem within the gay community is that people who are part of the majority are unable to form support groups outside of their social status. They also have problems with forming support groups outside their own race. Moreover, certain racial groups are outcast altogether.

Because Asian culture has very strict guidelines and is usually religious, many outside racial groups don’t accept people of this ethnic background. That is one reason many people flock to San Francisco, a culturally rich area which is generally very accepting of all races. And while homosexual groups and Asian ethnicities are both welcome, the mix of the two is a generally unaccepted, especially in the gay community.

Efren Bose felt so strongly about this subject – being a gay Asian in San Francisco – that he wrote an article in the (i)San Francisco Bay Times(i) about the criticism he must succumb to. This particular newspaper is targeted for gay, lesbian, and transgender people, and Bose was hoping that by reading this article, the gay community would realize the effect of the actions.

It seems that while Asian men catch so much flack within the gay community, gay Asian women don’t get the heightened harassment as their male counterparts.

Stephanie Cua, 20, and her girlfriend find themselves subjects of harassment not only because individually they are minorities, but because they are also in an interracial relationship.

“Because I am Asian-American, and my girlfriend is African-American, we instantly get more glances than when we go out on our own,” says Cua. “I also have a more punk rock style and she is more classy, so we look like a miss match. Around African-Americans in our community they automatically assume we are just friends and don’t really accept us as a couple.”

Cua explains that the hardest thing they have to endure by being minorities in the gay community is the racist jokes.

“It’s hard when I am around my group, because a lot of racist comments do get made at times when it is not appropriate to do so,” says Cua. “I also think that with any ethnicity it is hard to get away from stereotypical jokes.”

Although Cua thinks that Asian-American gay men have to put up with much more name calling and prejudice, there are a few things that get said about Asian-American lesbians as well.

“When people talk about Asian-American lesbians they say things like ‘crazy dyke, stay away from those Asians,’” she says.

However, not all racism in the gay community is geared toward Asians. Stephen Stoute has seen racism in action against blacks as well.

“When I go to bars where the door man knows me, I manage to get in without a problem,” says Stoute. “But when other people like me try to get in, without knowing anyone at the door, they ask for their different credentials and they get looked over.”

Stoute, who is originally from the United Kingdom, feels he has it easier than African American males that grew up in the United States. He also feels uncomfortable knowing that racism in the gay community takes place at all. Being a gay man, he feels that those instances of racism reflect negatively on him.

An overarching theme that spans not only across the gay population, but all over the world, is white privilege – the idea that white people have been the predominant race in most countries where racism occurs. They are at the top of the food chain, so to speak.

Whites don’t necessarily have to worry about being discriminated against when walking down the street, or when they are being serviced in a restaurant or bar. But many minorities do feel that they are placed second, or not as well attended to, next to white people.

As a lesbian, the hardest thing for Cua is not feeling comfortable about introducing her girlfriend to strangers, who may not be as understanding of their interracial relationship.

“I do want to be comfortable around people,” says Cua. “I just don’t feel right about saying ‘this is my African-American lesbian lover.’”