The shelves at Toys “R” Us are lined with package after package of colorful advertising. In one section, Barbies and figurines smile up at you as you pass. Walls of pinks and purples surround you on both sides as baby animals and jewels spill into the aisles.

Did you buy the Dream Town Rose Petal Cottage for your daughter? The life-size play house with its own washer, dryer and kitchen? Perhaps you chose a Bratz doll, clad in a pair of cut off jeans, a figure hugging t-shirt and pouty lips.

The other side of the store leads to the area sectioned off for Power Rangers and toy guns. The colors are bold and loud. Hues of blue, black and green mix strategically with camouflage topped with heavy, thick lettering.

A middle-aged man stops in front of the Mech Tommy 20 Foam Dart Gun by Nerf that assures you’ll “hit your target with extreme blasting power!” He grins at it for a moment, and a muttered “so cool” slips out before he drops it into his cart.

It’s clear from looking at the two sections in the store that they are separated for a reason—an obvious sign that girls are supposed to play with certain types of toys and boys another. A sense of docile innocence mixed with sex appeal and beauty hits you the moment you enter the rows filled with girls’ toys. Meanwhile, combative and controlling urges threaten to overwhelm you as you peruse the aisles for boys. It’s a distinction that’s mixed deep within our culture—men versus women, dominant versus submissive. Our society has created the way these toys look and are advertised, and in the same sense, the toys have shaped us.

As teenagers and adults, we’ve grown to understand these stereotypes and roles.

“I really don’t think it makes much of a difference to be honest,” says Amber Valencio, a resident of San Francisco’s Marina District. Valencio, a mother to three young children, says that while she may buy gender specific toys, her children frequently switch them.
“If I buy a doll for Lila, she’ll play with it for hours, but so will Colin and Joshua. The only difference I’ve noticed is the way they actually play with it.”

Valencio explains that Lila, her 5-year-old, will tuck the doll into bed, brush its hair and clean its clothing, while Colin and Joshua, both 7-years-old, will play with the same doll by throwing it back and forth and shoving it into their Tonka trucks.

“I just think that’s how they’re built,” says Valencio, shrugging as she sips her Starbucks latte. “Boys act one way and girls act another. It’s genetic make-up.”

However, Laurie Meschke, an assistant professor in the child and adolescent development department at SF State, feels that the toys children play with serve an educational purpose.

“Children’s play serves as their vehicle for learning,” says Meschke. “Both structured play with an adult facilitator and non-structured play have great roles in child development and their understanding of the world.” As far as toys and their connection to distinctive gender roles, Meschke feels toys aren’t the deciding factor in how children begin to find their place within the world around them, but they do play an important role.

“The supervision they receive in playing with any toys could make all the difference, healthy or not,” says Meschke. “All adult-child interactions are not equal.” But the focus on getting rid of gender specific toys isn’t a fight that Meschke feels is necessary.

“There are bigger battles to be won,” says Meschke. “Ideally, all parents and adults who interact with children would have an understanding of…the importance of their role in the children’s lives.”

The sun is just beginning to settle directly overhead as Valencio yells for her children to get ready to leave the park. She marches over to the sandbox and begins to pull them out one-by-one.

“You see?” Valencio gestures to the sand where a Barbie doll is buried head first in the sand, one of her stiletto shoes missing. “The boys play with dolls too.” She sweeps sand out of Joshua’s hair, taking a moment to glance over her manicured fingers. “Anyways, I played with Barbies as a kid and I don’t think it swayed me either way. I can handle my own.”

Gathering up her kids, she grabs her bags and begins to walk away. “It’s all rather silly,” Valencio calls over her shoulder. “Toys having that much of an influence on how you turn out.” She says a few more things but the sound is drowned out by the clicking of her high heels against the pavement as she heads home.