Time: 7:30 p.m. Your guy will be picking you up soon. With him in mind, you don your little black dress and add a belt at the waist to give yourself that desirable hourglass figure. You choose to wear your three-inch gladiator heels instead of your black stilettos to radiate flirtatiousness. To polish and add flavor to your look, you grab your emerald, gem-encrusted clutch. You finally hear a knock on your door, so you rush out to open it, and there he is, all smiles. “You look beautiful,” he says, and just as you suspected, he notices your hand-picked details.

The truth? He probably didn’t notice your wardrobe ingredients. Heck, to him, it’s just another black dress and another pair of black shoes. And that belt? He was probably wondering why it was there in the first place.

Women believe they dress with their guy in mind, decorating their physique with the latest trends. But in reality, these trends merely leave men mystified.

Summer Scarves

The trend of scarves festooning one’s neck in the summertime traces back to Florence, Italy, where the Florentines believed that “an exposed neck could catch a cold so they wear their scarves (as well as turtlenecks) well into the summer months.”

Bobbie Thomas, style editor of the ‘Today’ show, writes: “Versatile and vibrant, an oversize scarf is virtually weightless, and will take up very little room in your purse. Although part of the allure is the chic, airy feel, a feather-light scarf can ward off the chill of air-conditioning, and even act as an extra layer of sunscreen.”
But to the general masses of men, it’s bullshit. Why? Because, together the words “summer” and “scarf” make a contradiction. They just don’t go.

“Why would you wear winter clothes in the summer time?”
-Telly Tan, 25

“Fashion makers that made summer scarves ‘in’ are the ignorant ones. The fashion followers are their minions. I mean, what do you need a scarf in the 100-degree weather for?”
-Benson Williams III, 21

Skirt and Uggs Combo

Sheepskin boots have been around for some time now, reinvented many times for a variety of uses and people (e.g. hunters), but it was Australian surfer Brian Smith who opened the American market to the Ugg boot. Shortly thereafter, Uggs became a phenomenon. They splashed onto fashion catwalks in 2004, and were popularized by superstars like Sarah Jessica Parker, Kate Moss and Madonna, all of whom can be credited (along with other fashionistas) for igniting the skirt and Uggs combo. Like wildfire, this trend spread to millions of fashion-conscious females.

“You definitely see a wave of women pairing short, cute skirts with their authentic sheepskin Uggs, and a lot of it is because it has that laid back look,” says Carmen Gonzalo, a fashion student at Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising. “But at the same time, they’re exhibiting their femininity without having to sacrifice their comfort.”

That may be so, but loads of lads just wag their heads with disapproval when it comes to this combo.

“Either your legs will be freezing in the winter or your feet and ankles will be sweating and stinking in the summer.”
–Kenneth Choye, 21

“I understand physics so well, yet I don’t understand this.”
–Anonymous, 34

Waist Belts

Waist belts have spanned centuries, tracing back to eras such as the Renaissance, Victorian and Edwardian, all the way up to the 1960s. But this season, magazines like Vogue and Vanity Fair declare waist belts a must-have item as it can work with the casual-day or elegant-night ensemble. That’s why these days almost every girl stashes a waist belt or two in her closet. Still, the pragmatic nature of men finds this accessory nonessential.

“They’re not utility belts. They’re not holding anything up. Thus, no point.” -Jarred Barrios, 23

“Honestly, could you really breathe in these (waist belts)?”
–Mark Middleton, 32

“Can you say wanna-be belt?”
–Perry Kayasone, 25

Clutches

Handbags and clutches have also been around for centuries, and an Editor’s pick in MSN Shopping states that they “came into their own as a prime accessory in the 1920s. No longer simple dainty fashion accents, they evolved into practical pocketbooks and portable expressions of individual flair.” Clutches also traditionally accessorized evening wear, but this autumn season, fashion designers have complemented day-to-day casuals with modest clutches because they add “old-school elegance.” The male species, however, does not concur.

“Purses are meant to hold things, but what can you even hold in there? And besides, by the end of the night, they’re going to want us to hold their clutch for them anyways.”
–John Tu Giang, 25

“Women usually carry other smaller bags in their purses and some clutch bags are just the bigger version of it; girls don’t need two of these.”
–Rafael Moya, 23

“Don’t bags need handles so it makes life easier? So since clutches don’t have handles, isn’t it just a wallet then? Why would you want to hold your wallet? That’s what bags are for. I just don’t get it.”
–Thomas Estrada, 24

Other Items:
- A Million ‘Little Black Dresses’
- A Million Pairs of Black Shoes
- Cropped Jackets
- Oversized Sunglasses
- Gladiator Sandals

Guys don’t understand these items, and they probably never will. So, next time you flatter your figure with chic, trend-embracing frills and fashion, you might want to do it as a treat for yourself instead of for him, because honestly, he probably won’t be preoccupied with that extra stuff. As long as you’re presentable and reasonably dressed, you’ll make him smile.