In earlier times, the mustache was viewed as a noble and distinguished fashion statement, championed by respected men like Albert Einstein, Gandhi and Martin Luther King Jr. Yet today, upper lip plumage is sadly loathed as a smarmy, campy and kitschy cry for attention. But luckily for hipsters and children in need, some would say ugly is the new pretty, and Mustaches for Kids, a nationwide volunteer-run fundraiser, is jumping on the “ironic mustache” bandwagon this holiday season.

Contrary to its name, Mustaches for Kids does not provide mustaches for children who are without one. Volunteers selflessly grow misplaced eyebrows to draw attention to their mission, and all proceeds go directly to local children’s charities. The organization has been growing mustaches for the children’s sake since 1999.

Hundreds of participants across the country and even in Canada have raised over $150,000 for children’s charities since its first year. The San Francisco Chapter was founded in 2002, and last year was their biggest event yet. Mustaches for Kids SF was able to raise about $23,000 for the Breakthrough Collaborative, a non-profit organization that helps low-income children to succeed in school.

“It’s kind of like a marathon, except we don’t run anywhere. We don’t actually do anything athletic at all,” says Josh Lynch, a grower who is back for his third year.

Growing a soup strainer may seem like a walk in the park, but it may not be as easy as people think. Growers get chastised and are sometimes assumed to be out-of-work porn stars. But the public humiliation isn’t enough to break their will to proceed. In the past, Lynch has battled naysayers who threatened to shave his caterpillar lip down to a Hitler ‘stache while he slept, but he perseveres regardless.

The guys admit to channeling celebrity ‘stachepower, but Hitler is not on the list. A $20 donation is called the Yosemite Sam—a cartoon character, yet a man who means business nonetheless. A $25 donation will earn you Magnum P.I., in celebration of Tom Selleck’s infamous whiskers. For $50, you can attain the My Name is Earl level. And the more financially endowed sponsor can achieve Albert Einstein status by pledging $250.

As silly as all this sounds, these guys are truly committed to the cause. Each participant is expected to raise a minimum of $50 by soliciting friends, family, unsuspecting bar patrons and strangers for donations. Lynch pulled in just over $500 last year. Although no one is discouraged from participating if they cannot achieve that, certain growers raise the bar to extreme levels. Gabe Adiv, mus-stage name “G-roadie,” has won the “Biggest Earner” title for two years in a row.

“I really, to a large extent, leverage the digital angle,” says Adiv, CEO of TuneUP Media.

Last year, he was able to raise over $4,400 for the Breakthrough Collaborative by entertaining three hundred of his closest friends and family with mustache trivia, pictures and interviews on his own blog. He’s pretty confident that he has tapped those resources once too often, so this year he plans to take it to the next level by rallying his mostly male staff to promote his cause with online traffic through his company website.

Not everyone is so successful. Some of the guys are finding that everything in life is more difficult with a fuzzy lip. There has been more than one occasion when a simple trim has gone too far, resulting in disqualification. Others had to convince their lovers that the mustache was for the greater good. “Some people do not look good in a mustache, and I’m one of them,” says Bobby Cup, one of four growers from the Breakthrough Collaborative staff who joined the cause to bring in some cash for the non-profit that writes their paychecks.

“Other than the personal struggle with the dirty looks, my girlfriend wasn’t having any of it. She couldn’t wait for me to shave it off,” he says.

Co-director Jon Wolanske was once forced to ditch out three weeks into the growing season to audition for an acting role that would not accommodate his nose neighbor.

On Clean Shaven Day, November 11, the growers will go bare as a baby’s bottom to ensure they are all starting off with a clean slate. Wolanske and his stubbly compatriots believe in the “honest ‘stache” which can only grow from corner to corner.

Over the next month, only hair above the lip is allowed. All other hair must be sheared weekly to maintain the integrity of the ‘stache. No sideburns, no soul patches and absolutely no beards are allowed.

To ensure that growers are not cheating the system by growing a full beard until the final day, there are Mustache Checkpoints held weekly in the Mission District at Casanova Lounge where, coincidentally, a tacky, velvet painting of a mustachioed man adorns the wall and watches over the growers, inspiring their facial follicles to reach their full potential.

The guys will be out in full force this November for pub crawls in pro-mustache neighborhoods like the Lower Haight and the Mission in support of DonorsChoose.org. DonorsChoose.org allows for the growers to select a classroom project of their choice, and sponsors can log on and make a small contribution or complete an entire project for one classroom.

“It’s harnessing the power of the Internet, like with the Obama campaign, or any other campaign. It’s a pretty unique platform. It’s also the first year where the growers can get involved,” says Wolanske.

It all comes down to the final night—the ‘Stache Bash, America’s most testosterone-fueled and comical beauty pageant. Last year, it was every man for himself when sixty-three of the eighty Bay Area growers competed for the “Sweetest ‘Stache of the Bash” title in an awkwardly entertaining display.

Not everyone is charismatic or brave enough to compete in the pageant. Growers are forced to answer a series of mustache-related questions, perform a special talent, and participate in an official Beer Foam Retention Test.

“They take a full pint of Guinness and dunk as much of their surface area that they can and reveal to the crowd. It’s kind of like an ooh and ahh moment. It’s ridiculous,” says Wolanske.

For the growers who make it to the end, they are allotted three minutes to perform a “stachku”— a haiku from the point of view of their mustache and all that it has accomplished— or, if they so choose, a farewell toast in honor and remembrance of the good their mustaches have spread.

Growers like Julian Mocine-McQueen are gearing up for the season with a little pre-season training. He’s amped for his first year as a grower and is embracing his hairy duties with a warm-up mustache. “This is the first year that I’ve ever been able to grow a respectable mustache. My body hasn’t let me until recently, and it’s transformed my life,” he says.

“It’s an opportunity to provide for youth that need it, and you get to test your sexy.”