Before starting, they look one another in the eye, grins adorning both their faces. "We met in November 2004," Morgan says. Jay adds, "I was walking to the café where I work and she was leaving. We made eye contact and it went from there." The two seem to be completely in love. In addition to having a ten-year age difference, the couple engages in a rather unusual lifestyle--they have an open relationship.

"I was Morgan's first everything. Her first boyfriend, her first love. She didn't really have much experience when it came to guys," Jay explains, moving his hands in an animated manner. The couple met four years ago at SF State. Morgan was an innocent freshman in her first semester, and Jay was working at one of the student cafés as a manager.

The twenty-two-year-old Morgan seems to be Jay's polar opposite. She's a rather mellow young woman who possesses a more serious demeanor. Jay, on the other hand, is playful and very friendly.

Jay admits that he was the one that pitched the idea of seeing other people on the side, just after they passed their eight-month anniversary. He wanted Morgan to experience dating and seeing others, as her experience with dating was very limited. The idea intrigued Morgan, and as she pursued seeing others, she was also able to confide in her boyfriend about her experiences. While such happenings might make most boyfriends jealous, Jay seems to be coolly confident with himself. "Jealousy is about either feeling inadequate or competitive in many cases. I am very secure in myself. I know there's people better than me and worse."

About ten months into their relationship, Morgan decided that she was comfortable with allowing Jay to see other girls. There was one condition to this, though--she did not want to know whom he was seeing. "This didn't really last though. I was curious in who he was seeing," Morgan explained. Morgan's friends were not at all hesitant to tell her about the women Jay had been with. There were even some people that she wished her boyfriend had not dated, like good friends. After finally growing sick of the constant discussion of various sexual encounters between her boyfriend and others, Morgan took back her request.

Both Jay and Morgan practice safe sex and get tested regularly. In addition, they also discuss whom they are going to see before the date. Jay admits that he is slightly overprotective, and always likes to meet the guys Morgan goes out with. "It's kind of awkward for them," he says in a lively voice as he bobs his head. "But more often than not they're cool with it." Since starting their open relationship years ago, Jay has had sex with around twelve women, and Morgan has had sex with seven men.

However, their encounters outside of their relationship usually go much deeper than just casual sex.

Being in such a unique relationship causes a variety of different reactions in the people they tell, ranging from shock, disgust, curiosity, and envy.

They often go on dates with the people they see, and develop friendships with those who they were involved with before becoming intimate.

For the most part, the pair doesn't have much of a problem telling others about their lifestyle. The only people they're reluctant to tell are their parents. "We haven't told them because there were already some issues," Morgan says. "Her family didn't like the fact that I was ten years her senior, and me being black didn't help either. My family thought I should find someone closer to my age," says Jay with a shrug.

Years later, Jay's parents love Morgan, and while Morgan's parents do not hold the same view of Jay, they do accept him. Neither seems to like the idea of telling their parents about their open relationship any time soon, if ever.

The couple recently moved out of University Park North after residing there for the last four years. After living with an array of different roommates, the couple finally decided that it was time to get a place all their own. Although their former roomies did accept the couple's lifestyle, not all of them agreed with it. While the pair liked living with their roommates, it was time for them to move out and do their own thing.

Jay and Morgan are content with their new place of three months, which is located on the border of Daly City. Finally, no more roommates to deal with--in fact, the only ones that they have to worry about are their two cats, Angie and Roland.

A lot has changed since their initial meeting on campus. Jay currently works at a pizza shop close to downtown San Francisco, and Morgan is in the process of finishing her degree.

When it comes to the future of their relationship, they are both optimistic. "I am never afraid that he's going to fall for some other girl, and if he did have feelings I know he would talk to me," says Morgan as Jay nods. The duo would like to pursue being together while seeing other people for as long as they can. However, they also accept the fact that if someone has a change of heart, they can stop at any time as well. "There is one hundred percent trust between us, which is what makes this relationship so strong," Morgan says with pure confidence.

Contact: sweetj9@sfsu.edu | Janine James loves oversized purses and making to do lists.