How to Spot a Douchebag
 

A bright sunny day in San Francisco and the Giants just won yet another game against the Arizona Diamondbacks. While sitting in my sister Marla's car with the sunroof ajar and the windows rolled down, we were stuck in the typical traffic after a ball game. I occupied the passenger's seat, while our two friends Tiana and Robin sat in the back. I turned to my right and all of a sudden these group of five guys were yelling for my attention.

"Hey girl," one them yells.

All of them were decked in tattoos: An image that would put Travis Barker to shame on how many tattoos embodied them. Pants were sagging to the floor (not literally) and their white plastic framed sunglass blinded me with the reflection of the sun.

I tried to think of something witty and humorous to say - something along the lines of, "shut the hell up you douche!" - when all of a sudden one of the guys standing in the middle of the group belched out the notes, "Hey pretty lady." "Hey that was nice," I thought. Then he finished with, "I wanna bone ya!" They raised their hands in the air in a cheering and bantering by his "witty" song. My mouth dropped and I was stunned.

The term douchebag no longer simply refers to a female cleansing product: for some, it has become a lifestyle.

There has been an uprise of the douchebag culture, such as television shows, "Is She Really Going Out With Him?" on MTV and "Tool Academy" on VH1 in the past year. With this rise of douchebag-ism in the media, the amount of douchebaggers has been flourishing in the streets all across our city.

There are different types of douchebags, and the images of a quintessential D.B. are pretty universal. Though some may think that simply Ed Hardy apparel screams douchebag there is more to douchebagging it than wearing Bedazzled shirts and hats. "There is not just one type of a douchebag, there are many different stereotypes," says Jillian Alexander, a San Francisco native who works at AT&T Park.

The "Yuppie" D.B'er can be found frolicking around the Marina district in cargo shorts and tight salmon-colored polo shirts and flip-flops to different bars on Lombard, Fillmore and Union Street. By night, he can be seen working it at Eastside West or the Matrix dance floor cutting up a rug in a black and white pin stripe button up shirt and Seven Jeans.

The "hipster" D-Bagger can be seen in the Mission in his extra-small American Apparel V-neck T-shirt and suffocating his genitalia in his own (or his girlfriend's), skinny jeans. He pedals his bicycle down Valencia and Mission Street in his Vans to get to the next in hole-in-the-wall dive bar. And to top it off, literally, he can be seen warming up his noggin in a knitted over-sized beanie. He never takes it off.

The "Wanna-be" MMA fighter is described by Davin Suguitan an East Bay native, as someone who has "extremely spiky hair, a fake tan, and always wears an extra-small or "sh-medium" Affliction or Extreme Couture shirt. He also describes them as being adorned in Cuban-linked necklace and matching bracelet and eight karat Cubic Zirconium "fake-ass" earrings. He loves drinking Jager shots at the bar.

"Douchebaggin'" does not only refer to the way someone dresses. "It is not just about how they look, but also their behavior," says Chris Wong, a Golden Gate University business major. One of the many characteristics of a D.B. is someone who personifies a "jerk-off" and "asshole." Jillian describes a douche bag as, "Someone who is into them self and carries the demeanor of that they do not care about any one else."

Even though many guys may carry themselves and look like the explanations above, they are not always going to be a douchebag. "I have met some guys who look like they are one, but turn out that they are not," Jillian says. So be wary about who you label and categorize a douche bag ladies, they might just end up being the love of your life. [X]

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PHOTO
Wes Rowe | staff photographer
Aleks Aoad demonstrates what it takes to be one kind of douchebag.

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