A man in a long black priest robe appropriately named Humorous Howie perches behind the host stands with his lace gloved hands clasped. "Well hello lovely," he looks up and down the list. "Well you belong on the Very Important Pussies and Penises list now don't you?"

He leads guests by hand into a red candlelit room with disco balls glittering on the ceiling. The centerpiece is a circular bar. Order two cocktails: a Pillow Fight and No Heels. General Manager Edme Straver wears a silver sequined mini skirt, seven-inch heels, and a studded collar and startles the "V.I.P.s" by tapping them on the shoulder with a whip.

Straver takes them into a dark room with silver chains and handcuffs dangling from the walls, up a staircase covered in graffiti that glows under the blacklight and into a room full of beds covered by white sheets lit by magenta lights. No, he is not hosting a tour of the whorehouse. This is San Francisco's Supperclub, where one may drink and dine in bed - but do not get too comfortable; this place is full of curveballs.

Supperclub guests never know what to expect on stage while they dine on their surprise entrees. The lavish hotspot hosts exotic events that few cities can digest. On a recent Friday, at Supperclub's XXX Bondage Dinner, a woman dangled from the ceiling tied up in intricate bondage ropes as models in Dark Garden's couture corsets lounged in bed and sampled ice cream served in sterling silver dog food bowls. At the annual Marquis Fetish Ball, men and women in shiny latex perch on Supperclub's white beds and sip martinis.

Latex and corsets do not fill Supperclubs beds every night. On a typical night, the wacky staff spontaneously sings, dances, and performs on the center stage, while guests dine on four course meals. Supperclub diners are guinea pigs. Diners can be surprised with gourmet dishes prepared by Supperclub's Executive Chef, Daan Jetten with ingredients that are nearly impossible to pronounce.

"The reason for a prix fixe menu is minimal choices, minimal stress," says Supperclub's Event Manager, Dustin Durham.

Diners might expect to munch on oven roasted veal with English peas, basil reduction, and olive parmesan puree or grilled quail breast with a provincial salad of asparagus and roasted tomatoes with curry vinaigrette. True to San Francisco's diverse makeup, vegetarian and vegan options are available. One of the common vegan appetizers are crispy oyster mushrooms tempura accompanied by smoked tomato shallot compote and avocado coconut mousse. Vegetarians might be surprised with roasted fennel ravioli, sweet fennel mousseline and stuffed artichoke heart with eggplant caviar for supper.

Breakfast in bed? Supperclub has it. After All Hallows Eve, zombies and vampires hid behind Supperclub's silver doors to fight off their post-Halloween hangover. Beat-up clowns, princesses, and cowboys sprawled out on the white mattresses, sipped mimosas, and munched on fruit, bacon, sausage, toast, quiche, and muffins to soak up last night's liquor as the sun rose the morning after Halloween. Supperclub will serve up breakfast in bed on New Year's morning 2010 too.

Supperclub was born seventeen years ago, when independent performance artists in Amsterdam started dragging old mattresses out to their squat house and watching each other perform every night.

"Supperclub's founders consumed art," says Starver. "Not food."

Eventually the performers started bringing food to munch on while they lounged in bed and watched each other sing, dance, and act. Bert van der Leden, owner of Supperclub, took over the party and helped bring it to Singapore, Istanbul, and eventually San Francisco. The next plan is to expand to Los Angeles and London.

Like most luxury imports from Europe, Supperclub has a hefty price tag. Most nights cost about $65 to lie in bed eating gourmet food and watch aerial artists and fire dancers. It is no doubt a pretty penny compared to grabbing a $5 burrito and watching the free entertainment at 16th and Mission.

For the budget conscious, drop in on a Tuesday for Compressed Decompressed - three courses for half the usual price. Or try only one course for $15 on Thursday's Art Attack featuring San Francisco's clowny dance troupe Fou Fou Ha.

But for those who are not into surprises on your plate or stage, consider dining elsewhere. Supperclub is not for the faint of heart or the palate. [X]